Priorities

Every moment we are making decisions that reflect our priorities. We may not always realizing that’s what is happening, but it’s true.

As I worked on my goals and priorities for 2023, I asked myself these 2 questions.

Do I want to be skinny or healthy?
Do I care more about how my body looks or what my body can do?

We’ve been led to believe that being skinny is a sign of health. That’s not always true. I personally have known skinny people who struggle with high cholesterol and blood pressure.

I have this crazy goal in my life to live until at least 120 – and fully functional. Yeah yeah, I know. I’m crazy. But, I’m trying to live my life in a way that will get me there.

It’s been a struggle for me to lose weight over the last few years. Even with all my working out and eating healthy, I managed to end 2022 with 0 lbs lost. Clearly my body is not responding to what I’ve been doing – or maybe it doesn’t need to lose weight.

Why was I trying to lose weight? Well, I guess it started off with wanting to feel good and be confident. Over the course of 2022, I was feeling good. While I was confident on my body’s capabilities, I wasn’t feeling good with how it looked. My husband constantly disagrees with me on this (isn’t he a 💎?).

I had to dig deep and be honest with myself. losing weight was about looking a certain way. But why? Who said that certain way is a sign of beauty, or even health? The expectations and desires I had weren’t about me, but others. It was more about an image than fulfillment.

So, inline with my focus on ”being” over “doing”, I had to ask myself those questions to force myself to get some sense and wisdom. I needed to change my mindset. The online fitness group I’m a part of knows this about me because I was trying to not care about my weight, but it kept on bugging me. What I was doing wasn’t working.

I want to be healthy and I want to accomplish physical feats, like running a 50k trail race. Losing weight does not fit in with these goals.

Since Jan 2, I’ve been increasing my daily calorie intake because I learned I was chronically under eating. Running may appear to be a solo sport, but it isn’t. I was able to find a great coach and am training according the plan.

I’ve gained 3 lbs. I looked at the scale and smiled. It felt sooooo good to not give a 💩 what the scale said. I already feel so much stronger on my runs and my confidence in being able to complete an ultra marathon increases with each day.

My body is healing from the damage of chronic under eating (especially while training). I’m confident my body will do what it needs to do to support my training as long as I fuel it properly and do all the things to support my body – like rest and fun.

Why am I telling you this? Because I wanted to and I can. Because someone may read this and reevaluate what their priorities are. Maybe someone who’s been trying to live up to an image society portrays as superior comes to realize they aren’t being fulfilled.

This is YOUR life. The expectations you have are placed there by YOU. Make sure those expectations align with your purpose and goals. Society will go on whether you play their game or not.

Play the game you want to play. You’ll find others playing the same game as you. It’s more fun to play with those people than playing a game just because “that’s what everyone else is doing.”

Be you, boo!

Forgiveness

The urge to stop, kneel, and weep was strong.

I was on a run listening to N.T. Wright teach on Jesus, specifically, His proclamation that when God is in charge, there is forgiveness. With each word I could see forgiveness ooze out of Jesus and, with each step, intently listened to the powerful revelation.

Holiness, reverence, and deep acknowledgement of God’s overwhelming love consumed me and it was hard to keep going. I wanted to fall to my knees and worship Jesus because His love is so good, but I just kept moving. My hunger kept me moving, but I didn’t want anyone to see me and worry that I was hurt. Tears were running down my face and I’m pretty sure I was making that ugly crying face. I kept pushing forward and worshipped Him with my heart.

Jesus oozed forgiveness. It’s all I could think of. It’s all I could see.

“Father, forgive them! They don’t know what they’re doing.” That’s what Jesus said as He was being tortured. A powerful demonstration of love.

Before this Jesus went around healing and forgiving sins (which is a kind of healing). Again, if God is in charge and King, forgiveness would be a standard. Every healing incorporated faith, repentance, AND forgiveness.

In Luke 7, we are told about a woman who kissed, cried, anointed, and wiped the feet of Jesus. Why? Because of her love for Him.

Her love was so deep because she knew that her sins were forgiven. The revelation of forgiveness is what caused her love to be so great. Many read that passage and have taught that it was because she had many sins, so she had to be forgiven much, which allowed her to love much.

Hear me, beautiful brother and sister. That is not what Christ is revealing. It was not her many sins that drove her to love much. It was forgiveness that impregnated her with such love in her. Her recognition that Jesus forgave her sins caused this profound love that had no shame in kissing feet. She knew He was worthy of extravagant worship. It was not her sin that revealed this to her, but forgiveness.

Oh, how powerful forgiveness is that it drives us to love with such deep passion.

Forgive. Ask for forgiveness. Repent. Change. Love.

Love is not selfish. But it’s also not selfless. It’s other-centered.

When I realize how much I’ve been forgiven, I’ll dish it out freely. The result. A culture of honor and love.

Who do you have to forgive today? Do you have anyone you should apologize to today?

10 Mile Trail Run

Today I ran my longest trail run and it was tough. It’s a technical trail with lots of climbing, downhills, roots, and winding paths. But I enjoyed it.

As I hear up for my 2023 races, which I’ll be announcing soon, I’m also testing out fuel options. I highlight a few in this journal.

Enjoy!

Welcome

Thank you for stopping by my online running journal.

With life being as busy as it is, I use the time I’m out running, caring for the body God gave me, to spend time with God in prayer and worship.

I have received deep revelation on my runs, but I haven’t been diligent with documenting the Divine Wisdom God gives me.

On my run today, God gave me the idea of starting an online journal to document the running revelations I receive and to share it with others.

I’m not sure what this will look like overtime, but I appreciate you being here. I pray that whatever God reveals to me may bless you and add value to your life.

With thankfulness from your running revelator,

AJ